Saturday, January 14, 2012

Week 3 - The Eye's Have It!


“Look into my eyes and hear what I’m not saying,for my eyes speak louder than my voice ever will.” ~ Unknown
Not that long ago I discovered a photo album of a friend on Facebook…he had been collecting eyes of all things! I was mesmerized, intrigued and simply amazed at all the wonderful and astonishing things that had been accomplished in these photographs of our  “windows to the soul”…which is an English Proverb for those of you still curious from last week!
CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ENTIRE EYE COLLECTION! - CLICK ON AN IMAGE AND BROWSE THE ALBUM
While perusing this  incredible collection of fantastical things….it got me thinking about how often we truly look directly into the eyes…of ourselves and of others. I discovered that when people are speaking, often I am watching their mouths, not their eyes. This became a habit from many years working in establishments where the noise was so loud it was often impossible to hear what someone said, so I became a bit of a lip reader.  This was great talent for then, but the habit hung on, and it is no longer necessary as well as a habit I’d wanted to break. I realized that I often look at people’s mouths to hear what they are saying, but in fact it is their eyes that tell the story.
“What we learn only through the ears makes less impression upon our minds than what is presented to the trustworthy eye.” ~ Horace
This may sound strange and in perfect contradiction to what I’ve just said, but…. in practice though, it really bothers me when I am talking to someone who is wearing sunglasses and I cannot see their eyes… although I watch the mouth out of habit, I do also (I have found) look to the eyes as well; and when I cannot see a person’s eyes I am a tad bit uncomfortable.  To compound the problem, I also discovered that when I do look to someone’s eyes, and they are making direct eye contact with me, often I quickly look away, or if I force myself to keep eye contact, my eyes begin to water and I feel a bit oogly…it’s a strange dilemma don’t you think? Does anyone else experience these emotions or is it simply my own lunacy…I wondered to myself not so long ago… and in remembering this I have determined our Week Three Creative Courage Challenge.
“The eye is easily frightened.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
This week then our challenge will be to look into the eyes.  First and most importantly I want us to look into our own eyes. When we wake every morning this week, and we wander lethargic and weary into the washroom, before we wash our faces, or brush our teeth, let’s take a moment…let’s get a good look at ourselves.  Not with that critical voice, about freckles or wrinkles or hair where it should or shouldn’t be…but let’s get a good look into our very own eyes.  Don’t just look and say, ‘oh yeah, those are my eyes, look they’re brown-big surprise’…look into your eyes as you would look at someone you care deeply for.  Because we forget that we must care deeply for ourselves. WE forget that we DO care deeply for ourselves.  So each morning when we rise, like a mantra, let’s look into our own eyes and remember this love.
Yes, it is entirely possible that this will make you feel silly, or you may feel that you don’t have time because five other people share the bathroom with you or that one of those people will barge in and wonder what the heck is wrong with you because you are staring into the mirror. But it must be done.  We are here to build our courage, and we will not be intimidated by the stupid mirror now will we?!
If you cannot do it first thing in the morning, then try the rearview mirror in the car, in your child’s toy mirror, at work, in the studio, or at lunch…but we must do it.  Do it as early as you can and do it each and every day this week.
Try not to think about how anyone else would view this moment-this moment is for you….just concentrate on looking yourself in the eyes and attempting to convey how much you care about who you are and the great gift that you are in this world.  That is a wonderful way to begin the day, don’t you think?!! We can completely change the way we feel about ourselves by simply looking into our own nonjudgmental eyes each morning, each day. You will be building courage you didn’t even know you were missing.
“The voyage of discovery lies not in finding new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” ~Marcel Proust
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!!  While doing my own internal research for this week’s post, I also discovered that often we avoid other people’s eyes whether or not they are familiar to us.  The clerk at the checkout, the postal worker at the counter, the waiter or waitress at lunch, the barista making our coffee, the customers that come into our stores, the people we lunch with, even co-workers, our friends and sometimes our family.
We are often so busy looking about, attempting to find something, figuring out our next move, or what we will say next that we are simply too lazy to make the effort to look into someone’s eyes. What we don’t always understand is that it could take just that one moment of time to make another person feel worthy while we build our own courage and self-esteem.
When you are out in public, on the street, buying groceries, ordering coffee, at work, meeting with your mother’s group, lunching with your coworkers….look into other people’s eyes!
When the clerk hands you your change, look them in the eye when you say ‘thank you’.  If you unexpectedly bump into someone or need to squeeze through, when you say ‘excuse me’…look them in the eyes! When someone asks you a question, look that person in the eyes when you answer.
This is a much more difficult task than you might think…but it will make a HUGE difference in the manner in which you view your environment, your surroundings and believe it or not, it will empower you!  You will see and discover things you may have been missing, you will feel as if you have an innate kindness that you may not have thought you possessed, you will grow your courage and become a better person through simple eye contact!
“Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the worldthrough the eyes of a child.” ~Ron Wild
While you dare yourself this week to look not only into your own beautiful eyes, but into others as well…note how it makes you feel…does your heart jump, do you feel stronger, are you more self-assured that you are aware of your surroundings, do you feel like you looked at someone you’ve known for a while but just saw them truly for the first time?  As well, note how others act, are they taken by surprise, do they look back at you, is there a momentary connection, do they look grateful? Young or old, strange or familiar, happy or sad, see the eyes…and let the eyes see you.
It will be through this “new” experience of looking in the eyes of everyone, including yourself, that will help you gain courage, continue to pique your curiosity, and help you to see things in a whole new way.  This action will also give others a new way to see you…even those you will never see again.
“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through
each other’s eyes for an instant?” ~Henry David Thoreau
Good luck this week, and have fun looking into as many eyes as you can…and don’t forget your own….here’s to building our courage!


Good luck this week, and have fun….here’s to building our courage!
JeaneMargherite Meria Murray McMahon Schintgen  (yep, that’s my name, don’t wear it out!)