Curiosity is one of the most powerful things you own!
As we are working to build courage, we must inevitably work to dealing with fear as well. Because, when we are stuck in a place of fear, we are closed up and unable to see the true possibilities that lead us to our courage and thus our creativity. For Creatives and Artists this is tantamount to emotional suicide! Our fear and curiosity are at constant odds with each other. When fear wins the battle, we do not act, we react, and we immediately lose. So the challenge really is to move away from fear, by choosing and creating opportunities to build our curiosity so that it is stronger than our fear. Simply put, having more curiosity will in fact build your courage!
“Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.” - John Kenneth Galbraith
So…let’s get curious…..what’s your best friend’s middle name? Where did your brother in law grow up? Who was Snow White’s stepmother? How do you recover a chair seat? At a movie theater, which armrest is yours? Why doesn’t McDonald’s sell hot dogs? When does is stop being ‘partly cloudy’ and start being ‘partly sunny’? If bread is square, why is lunch meat round? Why is Greenland covered in ice and Iceland covered in greenery? Why are men and women’s shoes different sizes? How many seconds are in a day? Why do we have daylight savings time? Why do you hear the sound of the ocean when you put a shell up to your ear? Why does a peppermint candy placed in a soda bottle make it overflow? These may seem on face value as nonsensical or questions that don’t matter…even a waste of time perhaps. But do you know the answers to any of them? Are you even curious as to the answers? Is there a place these answers can be found? Do you know how to find the answers? Enter…Curiosity! It’s fun and interesting! You have the opportunity learn, enjoy and grow in your life, your art and your heart!
Now…for the Fear: We humans create situations in our own minds. We fear things we have only “thought” of and have not acted on. This fortunately is a learned behavior, and it can beunlearned. Think for a moment of how a baby learns to live and move in its environment…it is all through insatiable curiosity. Can I reach that? Can I put that in my mouth? I wonder what will happen if…? They are not afraid because they do not know what will happen. But as babies and children grow they learn and are taught by others around them, they learn to be less curious, they learn to guess at what may happen and not to take so many risks; as those risks may result in pain, rejection or failure. As we grow our curiosity dies, fear wins and we lose.
“Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely” ~Rodin
Most often, it is only in our mind that the fear actually resides. It is in the thoughts we have created ourselves concerning the situation we believe we are afraid of. We need to change our programing, change our learned behavior. Instead of saying “I can’t afford that” KNOW that you CAN in fact afford anything you want…you would just have to work out the details. Changing “I can’t afford that” – which is defeating, deflating and self-abusive and not true – to “I could buy that if I really wanted to” – which is empowering, exciting and hopeful well, and true. If you REALLY wanted to, you could buy it, you would just need to work out the how (save the money, borrow the money, wait for your next paycheck, etc) but you COULD buy it if you really wanted to. Just changing the mindset, changing the thought process makes all the difference in the world. You go from feeling poor and unprivileged because you “can’t” afford it, to feeling powerful, energized and happier. Thinking “I could afford it” puts your brain in positive gear, instead of negative, and gives your heart an opportunity to hope and open up to the possibilities. It’s the same thing with our fear…examples:
Fearful thought: I’m afraid I’m never going to make my website work effectively
Curious thought: I wonder how much more I’ll sell if I get my site to work effectively?
Curious thought: I wonder how much more I’ll sell if I get my site to work effectively?
Fearful thought: I’m not an actual writer, I’m afraid no one will read my blog.
Curious thought: I’m curious how many people will work along with me on my blog.
Curious thought: I’m curious how many people will work along with me on my blog.
Fearful thought: I’m never going to be able to make the budget work this month!
Curious thought: What can I do to make the budget work the best way possible?
Curious thought: What can I do to make the budget work the best way possible?
Fearful thought: I’m afraid to ask that person out, I could get rejected.
Curious thought: I wonder what will happen if I ask that person out?
Curious thought: I wonder what will happen if I ask that person out?
Fearful thought: I’ll never be able to quit smoking; I’ve been doing it for so long.
Curious thought: If I quit smoking I wonder if I could get someone to quit with me?
Curious thought: If I quit smoking I wonder if I could get someone to quit with me?
Fearful thought: This positive thinking doesn’t work, I’m afraid I’m just wasting my time.
Curious thought: If I give this an honest try, I wonder how I could change my life?
Curious thought: If I give this an honest try, I wonder how I could change my life?
Fearful thought: I’m afraid to change my job, but I’m so unhappy.
Curious thought: I’m curious what kind of job I would enjoy?
Curious thought: I’m curious what kind of job I would enjoy?
Using the words “curious” and “wonder”, or simply changing the statement of fear into a question of curiosity can change your perspective immediately…no matter what the circumstances. These words, this action… it opens up our minds and hearts to creative ways to deal with our fearful thought, and it keeps the levels of energy shifting from fear to excitement.
Most people (think of yourself) when they fear something, they avoid taking action until the fear goes away. Often we will soothe our egos by saying, “I’ll do it when I’m feeling more confident.” Or “I’m just having a bad day, I’ll do it tomorrow.” Or “I just really don’t want to.” – not even acknowledging the fear to deal with it. We put it off and put it off, and often times when we do actually accomplish the task things run more smoothly, our life is a little better, and we always feel a spring of excitement for facing our fear…so why not just do it in the beginning and WIN over fear, quicker, earlier, faster, sooner and enjoy the rewards for longer?
Because the real problem we are faced with is that fear never just goes away…we can tamp it down, we can ignore it, we can act as if it doesn’t exist. But it does. It’s there. It’s a natural part of life. Most people have it backwards, they believe they will overcome fear and then they are able to accomplish the tasks. But in fact, again, as we discovered in last weeks blog…. first you must do the thing you fear, then you gain the courage. We must remember that fact as we work through our weekly tasks. You aren’t going to ‘get the courage up’….you must do the thing and the courage will come! I promise!
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say that it is brave.” ~Seneca
What we need is more curiosity and less fear. I believe the key this week then might be that we act more our shoe size not our age…we need to keep our sense of wonder, as a child does. If we approach someone in a social situation and we are not met with a good response, keep your sense of wonder….”That person didn’t seem to want to talk…I wonder if this other person does?”
Think less about what the outcome might be and let your curiosity lead you…because people say that life ebbs and flows, but in fact fear ebbs and curiosity flows.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.” ~Mark Twain
During our courage building we have no room for fear, it create a division in our hearts, minds and worlds…so we are going to shift this week to being curious, asking questions, making requests, and we are not going to complain or worry about the answers. We are going to ask questions to confirm our curiosity, not make statements. When we use our curiosity our perceptions and prejudges go wooshing out the door this week and a whole new world is going to open up to us! This is not just in our own thinking, not just in our minds. I want you to be curious and use your curiosity! When you don’t see the price for something, don’t be afraid to ask. Inquire about how something is made. Ask for directions. Engage another artist on how they perform their craft, or ask about a specific project. Ask your best friend for a middle name, an older person what year they were born, your neighbor where they grew up. Look up a new project and learn how to accomplish it!
This week we are not going to completely change our mindset, but we are going to open up to our curiosity. Because curiosity is full of anticipation and enthusiasm, it opens you up in a way you may not be aware of! When you are open and feeling enthusiastic and curious your mind shifts to having more fun things to focus on. Your mind knows you are about to learn, discover, explore…whether that is just a bit of information or a whole new skill to accomplish yourself.
Be Curious this week! Ask someone where something came from or was originally found, ask a friend about the town they grew up in, ask a kid what they would like to do this summer. Wander into a store you’ve never visited before and ask the sales clerk a question about a product. Drive down a road you pass all the time and wonder where it leads, answer your curiosity. If you have a question…ASK. Ask, wonder, wander, search, delve, question, and then learn!
Post and let us know what you discovered, what you asked and could not answer, tell me where you wandered and what surprises you’ve uncovered, let me know if you know the answers to any of the questions in the beginning…and how you found those answers! By week’s end I hope that your Fearful Thoughts are turning into Curious Thoughts and that we have lost of fun getting us there!!.
JeaneMargherite Meria Schintgen (yep, that’s my name, don’t wear it out!)
